Thursday, April 15, 2010

Advice From A Manic

1. Don't pick your nose in your car, people can see you!

2. To avoid looking like a complete spastic, don't talk about things you don't know about. People will think you're just stupid if you do. Anyway, you'll look way cooler if you ask questions about things. Yes, this includes people, sex, coco chanel and life.

3. If you feel strongly about something, and someone else feels strongly about the opposite - avoid this topic. You will argue and you will not change their view on the subject, just like they won't change yours.

4. When there's someone or something in your life causing you stress - eliminate it. And, if you can't because they're family, completely good looking or someone you just have to put up with, then confront them and let them know you think your life would be better if you didn't communicate.

5. If they say they're going to call and they don't, smack those bitches up.

6. Don't worry about what different colours are supposed to mean when giving flowers! Choose what you think they'd like but remember to always check for bugs.

7. Start your own blog. You might be worried that you don't have anything important to say or that no one will want to read it, but honestly, we've all got something important to say and there's always someone who will want to know what you've got to say, yes you! And if not, you can always force your friends to read it, yes force. If you have no friends, I recommend viewing your own blog at least a hundred times a day to maximise your own page views.

8. Use a condom and don't lie about being on the pill. Hell, use two even! The pull out method is not as effective as condoms, and they're not even very effective! No, they're not - ask your doctor.

9. Swearing is not attractive, yes, this applies to males too. In saying this, don't be so uptight about words like 'fuck' and 'cunt', they're just words. However, if they're directed at you in an offensive manner, you can go biserk - otherwise, move on.

10. Although times-they-are-a-changing, something's still remain the same. Like, mystery still remains sexy so don't reveal absolutely everything to anyone. I repeat, to anyone. It's not lying, it's being mysterious. You know what is dead though? Racism and sexism. Yes, that's dead. Neither are cool.

11. Love yourself, especially your body because it's a lot more attractive when people are confident. But not too confident, that disgusts people.

12. Stand up for yourself! You'll feel good about it, earn others respect an get things off your troubled mind.

13. Do what you love and set your priorities straight. Boys, is it really worth watching that sporting match tonight and ignoring your girlfriend again? Same goes to you girls, is it worth spending hours on the phone again in risk of loosing your boyfriend?

14. Shave your legs this winter, girlies!

15. Eat more chocolate. It makes you happy, it tastes good and you deserve it. Besides, if you don't you'll have ten times more tomorrow.

16. Learn to say 'hello' in five different languages.

17. Don't count your friends, just remember their names.

18. Know your favourites things - colour, movie, song, season, holiday - so when asked you can have an answer instead of the boring "Uhh, I don't know".

19. Go out without looking in the mirror, just once.

20. You know what's cool this year? Caring about and saving the enviroment! Do it!

21. Forget about your problems for a bit and ring a troubled friend. They deserve it.

22. Use your manners because manners will never be dead.

23. Money doesn't need to be spent to have a good time.

24. Do something creative. Like an inspiration wall, a painting, photography or writing.

25. Garage sales get rid of your old junk and become someone elses treasures. Plus, you could earn money and you're reusing!

2 comments:

  1. Lol number 7 is hilarious. This post is quite entertaining :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you! :)
    I'm going to look at yours now!

    ReplyDelete